my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize