did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize