i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
