She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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