I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
