Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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