We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
