I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
