I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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