just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
