We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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