The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
