kristin has been a bad kristin
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
