I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
