New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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