I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
