He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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