That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm too high and old for this...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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