i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
