Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
