No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
