I think I won the penis lottery.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
