I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i dont even know how to be here
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
