i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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