dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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