I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
