I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
