so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
