WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
