I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
