He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
