Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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