Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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