i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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