That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize