Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
