my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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