you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
