you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
