Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
