What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
