it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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