She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize