tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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