My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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