You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
