what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize