Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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