Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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