She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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