She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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