I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize