I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
