You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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