i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
