I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
