Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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