hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
