she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize