so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
