No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
