Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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