Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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