if you like me you must not know who I am
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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