then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
