Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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