how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
