remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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