oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
