I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Small penises have feelings too.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
