I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize