I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
