I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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