Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So. Much. Porn.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
