i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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