Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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