don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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